How to improve self confidence

How to improve self confidence – To start off, let’s say in my past life I was a successful soccer coach. Won the national championship several times in a row and everybody wanted to come and play for me. Parents approached me and they’d say; ‘Okay, uhmm well my son wants to come play at your university. What is it what we have to do, what is it that you’re looking for? Being the Socratic professor that I am I would answer them; ‘Well what is it that your son does really well that we’d be interested in? Typically their answers are, well he got great vision, he’s really good, he can see the entire field.. Or, my son is the fastest player ever, there’s no one who can ever keep up with him.. Or, my son has a great left foot, is really great in the air and can win every duel. Then I’m like yeah.. not bad, but to be quite honest with you.. Those are the last things I am looking for.

How to improve self confidence

The most important thing? Self confidence.
Without that skill, and I use the word skill intentionally, we are useless as a soccer player. When you don’t believe in yourself you’re done for.

The definition of self confidence
The ability or the belief to believe in yourself to accomplish any task. No matter the odds, no matter the difficulty, no matter the adversity. The believe you can accomplish it.
Self confidence

Most people just tell themselves they can’t do it and keep repeating this until they actually can’t do it. Earlier I used the word skill. That’s because I believe it can be trained and with this post I’ll show you a couple of ways how to improve self confidence.

How to improve self confidence

  1. Repetition

The easiest way to build self confidence.. Practice, practice, practice and don’t take no for an answer. Get out there and do what you’re supposed to do. The problem is ..  We expect ourselves to be self confident, but we can’t be if the skill is new to us. We want to create a situation where we think; ‘Hey, I’ve done this a thousand times..’ The only problem of repetition is.. Well.. how many of us bail after the first bit of failure. How many of us bail after the first bit of adversity. Maybe the answer shouldn’t be repetition, but the answer should be persistence. Because we all repeat something, but very few of us really persist.

Repetition & PERSISTENCE

  1. Self talk tape

The other one is self talk. We all have a self talk tape in our head. Anyone of you went shopping last week? ‘Damn, I look fat in this pants’, ‘My feet look big in these shoes’, ‘Damn I have no muscle at all in this shirt.’ We all have these negative self thoughts. We all have enough people that tell us we can’t do it. Why do we also have to tell our self that? We know for a fact that thoughts influence actions. If we know this, then why would we want to keep these negative thoughts. We need to get our own self affirmations. Take mohammed Ali.. Who said; I am the greatest; there is no one better than me. Keep on repeating and there will be a time that you will believe it. If you don’t believe it, then no one will. It’s all about reminding yourself in those quiet and silent moments.

STOP the negative self talk


  1. Confidence in others

Often feedback is given when something is done the wrong way. ‘You’re doing it the wrong way’ or ‘that shot was horrible’. The strength in building confidence within your team is catching them while they’re good. Praise them when they do good things. It sounds easy, but is often forgotten.

PRAISE them while they’re good

  1. Interpret

Last but not least, confident people interpret feedback the way they want to. Let’s say I’m hitting on a girl and she tells me she wouldn’t date me even if I were the last person on earth, hell was freezing over, and there is a small chance that if we did go out, that had to save planet earth! Most people would say there’s no chance at all, but I prefer. My answer.. So you’re saying there’s a chance?!

Confident people interpret things the way they want to, because they love to and don’t let negative talk bring them down.

Interpret the GOOD

If I could give you one thing to take from this.. No one will believe in you, unless you do. Here’s to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers..

Were supposed to be different folks.. And when people look at us.. Believe in yourself.

The skill of self confidence | Dr. Ivan Joseph | TEDxRyersonU


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